Love Island - Remembering to be kind

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m sure you’re aware that hit reality show, Love Island, is back for a new season. Whether you hate it or love it, you can’t deny that it’s entertaining to watch at times. The drama, the romance and the laughs. Whilst it may not be the most intellectually stimulating programme to watch, it’s good ‘rubbish’ TV.

Something we often forget, is just how much this show means to the UK. Everyone’s talking about who they like, who they dislike etc… tweeting and posting on Instagram. Now whilst it’s fine to have an opinion on someone, we must remind ourselves to be kind with the way we speak about the people on our TV. We may disregard that they have emotions, they are real people with families. Now whilst the show often brings out the worst in people, that does not give anyone the right to post disgusting comments about them online.

These people are stuck in a house with a bunch of people they don’t know, in a different country, away from their family and friends and in a whole new routine. We see a tiny fraction of their lives, an hour of their 24 hours. Editors are clever, they can manipulate clips to make someone seem a lot meaner than they are. At the end of the day, their job is to assure people watch, meaning there must be drama / entertainment.

The show has become more and more popular each year. The islanders end up somewhat famous after leaving, snagging brand-deals and collaborations. This newfound internet fame is appealing, meaning more apply to join the Island each year. Whether they go on for love or the reputation, we’ll never truly know, yet it shows how many romanticise the idea of going on the show, not truly realising the negative impacts.

This brings me back to the idea of being kind. Remembering that whilst you are bound to dislike certain islanders, you must be careful with the way you discuss them. There is a real worry regarding the affect going on the show has on your mental health. You are subject to immense bullying and harassment if you do even the slightest thing that can be deemed ‘bad’. Gladeana McMahon, reality TV psychologist, explained that people at home (the audience), ‘loves to love and love to hate’.

I’ve noticed on twitter just how nasty people can be: commenting on the islander’s appearances and making horrific remarks regarding their families, just because they dislike the personality shown on TV. Bear in mind, most of these people making such statements, are middle aged women, those with their own children, tearing down people half their age. It’s pathetic.

Since Love Island begun, there have been three suicides related to the show. Three people who have either been on Love Island or presented it have taken their lives. One of the biggest factors contributing to this has been the online bullying and persecution faced.

Caroline Flack hosted the show until 2019, stepping down amidst a legal battle, where she was accused of assault towards her boyfriend at the time. She denied the claims yet the case was publicised heavily. Caroline was subject to intense and horrific mistreatment from those online, as well as many media outlets. I truly believe the media murdered her; they encouraged her downfall - newspapers such as The Sun and The Daily Mail. The attacks and harassment she endured were completely inacceptable. It truly shows just how words impact people.

Sophie Gradon appeared on Love Island in 2016, causing slight controversy when she coupled up with fellow female islander, Katie Salmon. After her presence on the show, Sophie spoke out about the intense cyberbullying and trolling she was a victim to. She explained, “Sometimes I would look for it… There would be so many negative comments. They are commenting on the way you look, the way you talk.” Unfortunately, Sophie took her own life in the same year after ‘struggling with the world’.

Mike Thalassitis was a contestant on the programme in 2017. He gained a reputation for being ‘muggy’ and a slight player. His good looks and charm aided this idea, meaning many had a negative perception of him. After the show, he was consistently referred to as, ‘muggy Mike’, a name that made him upset. Sadly, he took his own life in 2019. He had recently lost his grandmother and was struggling financially. Whether or not his death was directly linked to the show, the fame means you’ll always have someone speaking of you negatively – something that is difficult for anyone to handle.

It reminds us that yet again, they are people. Real people. They have emotions.

One in five people have suicidal thoughts. One in four people will experience some sort of mental health problem each year. One in fifteen people will attempt suicide.

Now think about the handful of people that go onto shows like Love Island and compare it to the statistics. These people you discuss could easily be the one in five with suicidal thoughts. The islander you tweeted negatively about could be the one in fifteen who tries to take their own life. Someone may appear confident on television yet fall apart when tortured online.

People are always so quick to blame social media for these problems, yet they are not entirely at fault. We must blame ourselves for normalising nastiness. Humans love to blame others instead of taking accountability for the idea that they are the reason for certain issues. Like I said earlier, the sad truth is we love to watch and entertain the downfall of people we see on our screens.

These people providing the entertainment we watch every night for seven weeks are at a risk when you realise just how much hate they receive. Their every move is discussed during the time they are on TV. Trolls will find any little reason to abuse these people, the safety of being behind a screen making people very brave. The drastic change from ‘normal’ lifestyles to being somewhat celebrities is difficult as is without the cyberbullying.

It's almost like we are going back to primary school, learning to read and write again. I feel I am reinforcing the idea to be kind, every day. Shouldn’t we already know this? Does the phrase, ‘if you’ve got nothing nice to say then don’t say it’ not ring a bell? Clearly not. You wouldn’t stop someone on the street just to make a disgusting comment about their appearance. Or maybe you would… if so, you might want to try therapy.

We must make the internet a safer space. Whilst these people are putting themselves out there and should expect that not everyone will adore them, your abuse is never justified. It is so easy to get caught up in the online realm, so remember to think before you post something. Even if you believe it is acceptable, think carefully. How would they feel reading the comment? Could this possibly encourage mental health problems?

There are an average of 500 million tweets sent each day. Many of these interactions will negative. Don’t be a part of it.

Take everything you see with a grain of salt. It is perfectly reasonable to dislike someone’s personality, yet there is no need to bring them down for it. There is especially no excuse for name-calling or personally attacking someone or their family. We have seen first-hand what cyberbullying can do. Being kind is easy. Much easier than crafting nasty comments about someone you don’t know.

It should never be forgotten that three people were subject to so much hatred online and unfortunately took their lives. We must acknowledge our past mistakes as a society, changing the way we talk about people. Reality TV cannot be entirely blamed for these problems, but we can.

Written in memory of Sophie Gradon, Mike Thalassitis and Caroline Flack. I send so much love to their families.