The Pressure to be Perfect

Around 3.6 billion people use social media, whether it be to communicate with family or to post selfies, there are positives and negatives of everything. Many underestimate just how toxic the online world can be, not realising the effects it has on them.

Around 22 million teenagers scroll through Instagram every day, engaging with their friends and celebrity idols. You probably do the same.

I can guarantee that when you wake up, the first thing you do is go on your phone, checking your social media, scrolling aimlessly. Before you know it, you have seen ten pictures of models and haven’t even got out of bed yet. The darker side to social media is so overlooked and you may have not even realised it.

In 2016, a review found that activities like scrolling through Instagram or posting selfies were a contributor to negative thoughts about your body.

Negative body image is becoming more and more common, especially within young girls. Studies show that at the age of seventeen, 78% of girls in America are insecure or unhappy with their bodies. This then leads to unhealthy eating behaviours and the rise of disordered eating, which has been drastically growing since 1950. I often think about how if social media ceased to exist, would the fascination around young women and their bodies disappear too?

The media is not the only factor that contributes to negative body image. We must change the way we talk to young people and the way we talk about bodies. Why is it that slim equals beauty? Why should we be subject to such unrealistic standards, curated and scrutinized by the male gaze? You are enough. Your appearance doesn’t define you.

“People end up creating unrealistic ideals for themselves based on what they see and feel distressed when they aren’t able to meet those ideas or self-expectations.” – Neha Chaudhary MD (child and adolescent psychiatrist).

People tend to forget just how fabricated the media is. According to Florida House Experience Health, 87% of women and 65% of men compare themselves to people online. The Instagram models you compare yourself to have usually had plastic surgery or fillers of some sort. They also edit their content heavily, refining anything that may even slightly resemble a flaw. A 2017 poll shows almost two-thirds of Americans edit their content before posting it. Photoshop and filters are readily available, aiding this fantasy that people continue to entertain.

Luckily, not all young people feel the need to edit themselves. Seventeen-year-old Hannah Sweeney explained, “I don’t have a positive outlook on body editing apps at all… they don’t promote positive body images and inject the idea into several people that they must edit their body in order to look good.”

Something that is often overlooked in the media is how celebrities will have plastic surgery, botox, fillers etc and still edit their pictures. The cycle of getting your body altered and continuing to edit out every detail continues to spiral. It’s sad that society has programmed people into feeling so insecure that they spend millions changing themselves. When is it enough? It’s no secret that when you start, you can’t stop as you become obsessed with the false reality you have created and continue to entertain it.

Kim Kardashian for example, she is the picture of ‘perfection,’ and the beauty standard. The features she is notorious for: her butt augmentation and breast implants, the work of talented surgeons. Something unrealistic, something unnatural to the human body. Kim, however, still edits her pictures.

When you see real life VS Instagram pictures, she will make changes to her appearance. It doesn’t help when the media picks apart your appearance, meaning you may feel the need to always look a certain way. For example, there was a website called ‘Hot or Not’, that allowed people to send it and rate pictures of one another, based on attractiveness. This further continued to endorse the obsession with appearance and beauty standards.

Here I show actress/singer, Dove Cameron, who has (potentially) had cosmetic surgery yet continues to edit her pictures. This is the exact same paparazzi picture, the original on the left yet the one she posted on the right. As you can see, she has edited her body. She also promotes body positivity and the idea that all bodies are beautiful yet edits her own.

I genuinely feel for people like the Kardashians. Kourtney has been open about her journey with IVF and spoke about how it caused her to gain weight. When people noticed this, floods of comments bashing her body and articles stating she was pregnant surfaced. It’s worrying how people feel the need to obsess over women’s bodies. When you become stuck in the world of online beauty standards, all eyes are on you. Any change from ‘perfect’ isn’t good enough.

We must rid of the stigma around bodies and beauty. Weight does not define a person.

With likes, followers and commenting options on social media, people often judge themselves and their beauty based on how many likes a certain picture will get. People get millions of likes, just for being pretty. When you associate your looks to a number, the whole concept of body image is destroyed. Whether it be the numbers of a scale or how many likes your selfie gets, we subconsciously associate ourselves with numerical values.

Plastic surgery is becoming more and more common. 45.5% of teens are said to have considered cosmetic surgery.

When I was around eleven years old, I was convinced that I needed a nose job. I would tell everyone. Looking back at it, it’s truly sad how a child felt the need to alter their body. I can guarantee the lack of diversity within the media fuelled this desire of mine. I have a Pakistani nose; I was so used to seeing Eurocentric features. The features of my ancestors felt ‘ugly’ to me. If there was more diversity and no idea of ‘perfection’, maybe my eleven-year-old self wouldn’t have been so insecure about her appearance.

The fact that society makes young people feel like they aren’t enough is disturbing.

Supermodel, Bella Hadid, spoke about how she had a nose job at fourteen and regrets it now, at twenty-five. “I wish I had kept the nose of my ancestors… I think I would have grown into it.”

Last year, Dove released an advert highlighting just how toxic the online world can be. The company aims to tackle these issues around beauty standards and social media pressures to look a certain way. In the advert, we see a young girl editing a selfie of herself: making her eyes wider, nose smaller and skin smooth and blemish-less. She then looks at herself in the mirror, clearly unhappy with what she sees – the real version of herself, and the campaign reads, ‘The pressure of social media is damaging our girls’ self-esteem.’

It exposes the reality, the true effects that the internet has on people, in particular young, impressionable girls. The more we see warped versions of reality, the more we become dissatisfied with our true selves.

It’s not just social media platforms that are damaging. The media itself, whether it be magazines or TV shows is openly fatphobic. For example, this is just one of the headlines that I have seen:

This just continues to promote the idea that slim = beauty. Why are women’s bodies being compared? Why is a bigger body not worthy of being a ‘beach body’? Bear in mind, this is just one of the headlines.

Research shows that people in television shows who may be considered overweight, or fat are often portrayed through negative stereotypes. Whether it be lazy or deemed as unattractive. Everything we see is clouded with fatphobia. From an early age, you are fed the idea that bigger = bad. You can’t even watch TV or look at a magazine without being reminded of this patriarchal idea of beauty. I truly feel sad for the girls that fall prey to this disgusting concept.

Luckily, there are many people working hard to destroy these ideas. Instagram profiles promoting body positivity and ‘real’ bodies are becoming more and more popular.

To encourage self-confidence and healthy ideas around body image, we must be showing young women diversity, realistic types of bodies and even examples of people that look like them. Ditch the filters and facetune. Small actions like that can help to create a safer community within the media – one that cultivates a more accepting environment.

Melissa Smart explained how they altered their social media habits, to create a positive space, “Now I consume a lot of body positive accounts, so I feel more confident with myself and well-being. I am more conscious... I like to be analytical too so if there's a certain point I don't agree with then I try to ignore or block that post.”

What else can we do?

• De-emphasise numbers, whether it be BMI or weight. It doesn’t tell us anything substantial about health or your self-worth.

• Focus on your eating habits and self-care choices instead of bringing yourself down.

• Change the way we talk about our bodies as well as other peoples. Remove any negative adjectives from your vocabulary. Be mindful.

• Teach body positivity and support people within it from a young age.

• Rewire social media, continue sharing realistic content.

• Destigmatise the idea of getting mental health help. Seek support if needed.

• Public figures or brands should be authentic with their content as well as assure diversity in their campaigns.

• Speak up on what’s wrong. Don’t be afraid of your voice.

• Get professional help if you are struggling. Whether that be behavioural therapy etc.

I truly wonder why people feel the need to compare women to one another. This idea continues to foster an upsetting environment for women, where instead of uplifting one another, we are at each other’s throats. I constantly ask myself, why is this systemic bias towards women of certain body types so normalised? Why is it still upheld when there is evidence showing just how detrimental it is?

Whilst the internet will never completely diversify, you yourself can. The more and more we speak up and display realistic lifestyles, the safer the online world is for our young people. The pressure to be perfect can be destroyed.